So to begin i should say that i have A LOT of thinking about writing a blog, and to be honest writing full stop! Is what I’m saying interesting, is it right/wrong, principles based blah blah blah. The amount of time it can take me to write a comment on facebook is laughable considering i generally never even post it
Where has this come from, this overthinking about what I write? I don’t really care, but what i now see is that it doesn’t have to stop me from writing. You are here at the start of a new chapter with me, exploring my own limitations and going beyond them. Like a sand castle carefully made and then destroyed, so will be my writing..
This is a space for me to write without caring too much, I will say one thing and then completely contradict myself, start sentences and not finish them, so get used to it
So I find myself in a place that i never thought i would find myself. Like a satellite knocked from its axis drifting off into space. Suddenly on a different trajectory, no sense of where or when or how or why. Its a still quiet place, a place of all possibilities, no restrictions or boundaries.
What now, well this is it, the here the now, one foot in front of the other…or so it seems. So what if the journey I thought i was on never existed, the life i imagined being just that, imagined. How can I still grieve for a life that I never had?
For me, when i heard the words from deep within, in this moment you are ok, and I realised this is the only moment, this is the point when i allowed my self to breath out, like i’d been holding on to my breath my whole life.
It feels more and more like the less i think there is a ‘me’ the more i am spoken for, just life being
Suddenly so much of what i thought i knew has fallen away, i’m left with space for new creation, and so here i am listening to Spotify writing, reflecting on the apparent enormity of what i have just decided…more on that at a later date